“If you dont try, you can’t fail.”-Benjamin Franklin
“I don’t treat people badly, I treat them accordingly.”-George Washington
“It’s not just a bad day its a bad life.”-Alexander Hamilton
“Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes that reason is that you are being dumb and make bad decisions.”-You’re annoying roommate
“Life is tough, but so are you.”-Abraham Lincoln
“Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate, things I said.”- President Nixon
“Hey! bad decisions make great stories!”-Famous last words
“Hold my beer watch this!”-Famous last words
“The reason why Monday is the worst day of the week is because, today is not Friday, tomorrow is not Friday, and even the day after that is not Friday.”-Every Student in the World
“I hug people that I hate so I know how big to dig the hole in my backyard.”-The Illuminati
“That’s a horrible idea! Wait, but what time?”-Donald Trump
“The human body has over seven trillion nerves, and some people get on every single one of them.”-Bernie Sanders
“A girl said she would text me when she got home. She must be homeless.”-Gary Johnson
“Your close friends are really just your close enemies.”-Hillary Clinton
“The president hates it when I shorten his name to Dick, especially because his name is Donald Trump”-Hillary Clinton
“Some people just need a high five, in the face, with something heavy.”-My therapist
“Here’s the thing, i’m a nice person, and if i’m mean to you, you need to ask yourself why.”-Donald Trump
“I’m not a bad guy, i’m just a guy who hits innocent ladies with my car.”-Michael Scott (The Office)
*Not actual or accurate things the people said. Intended for comic humor.
#fakenews
